wishuponawish: hookandthedaggersxvx: Virginity only matters if you’re lighting the black flame candle to summon witches. Actually, When people talk about “blood of a virgin”, what’s actually meant is “virgin blood”, aka blood that’s never before been used in a ritual. Therefore, virginity doesn’t matter for anything
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dulect: I don’t need you, I have other people to talk to
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z1c: being 20+ on tumblr
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DEAR ALMOST EVERY ANIME EVER:

businessmeme: dramatical-harmony: BOOBS DO NOT HAVE SOUND EFFECTS BOOBS DO NOT BLOW IN THE WIND BOOBS DO NOT STAND STRAIGHT UP BOOBS CAN NOT BE TWICE THE SIZE OF YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU’RE TEN YEARS OLD NIPPLES SHOULD NOT BE LONGER/BIGGER THAN THE ACTUAL BREAST THEY ARE NOT PERFECTLY SPHERICAL THEY DO NOT BOUNCE BACK WHEN SOMETHING HITS THEM AND THEY ARE NOT GRAVITY DEFYING we have a anime tity hater
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fenrir-kin: brigwife: kidouyuuto: how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme *800 years of war* "C’est une fucking pomme" is now my favourite phrase right up there with Viva la pluto
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guy: when the artist u hate releases a catchy song
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vapor-man: haemus: What’s meme in Japanese watashiwatashi Como é “meme” em japonês? watashiwatashi
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rhibros: tumblr is blocked on my schools internet for being a dating site Just google PROXY (or pr0xy) and be happy.
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tigersdrinktea: “Blow minds, not dudes” Actually you can do both! What a concept! That women can be intelligent as well as sexually active! And we don’t live in the goddamn 18th century and women don’t have to be pure little virgin housewives if they don’t want to! Oh my gosh!
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Ferguson from my TL- August 18 (2/3)

thewilsonblog: Ways you can help: http://ift.tt/14KWKru http://ift.tt/YtOAbj
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rxndomparadise: deep conversations with open minded people are my most favorite things ever
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narcotic: what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality Actually, some monks and indians do that.
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editoress: "SIT LIKE A LADY" “NO”
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motionjessinwhite: anotherpunk: "Your dress is too short." Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration. OH MYG OD
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trashboat: you can gain a lot of perspective if you dont see yourself as the protagonist at all time
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toenail-fister: sadvaporwavebabe: please dont name your children after flowers (rose, daisy, lily, etc.) unless you are plantkin it is cultural appropriation I mowed my lawn today.
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A Linguagem cria a ilusão da Realidade

Language Creates the Illusion of Reality. Here's How http://ultraculture.org/blog/2014/08/06/language-creates-illusion-reality/

8bitfuture: uBeam allows wireless charging, at a distance. Read More
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phobias: and the lord said to john, come forth and receive eternal life, but john came fifth and received a toaster
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todallison: todallison: what if the fish playing pokemon dies OH MY GOD I WAS JOKING BUT I THINK IT LITERALLY JUST DIED
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cassbuttstiel: I had a dream that I was flirting with Leonardo DiCaprio and I said “what’s your sign?” and he said “DiCapricorn” and I laughed so hard I woke up
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voldemortcanyounot: thebabbagepatch: fearofpop: A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline. you’ve got to be kidding me I am in physical pain
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So, did anyone of you is using RSVP?

RSVP, from Rapid Serial Visualization Presentation, is not something new, but today we can have it in our smarpthones. I’ve been trying for 2 or 3 months now, testing apps and browser extensions. My setup today: Chrome: Spread http://ift.tt/1lNNtvV Android: Balto http://ift.tt/1ukzoHN Balto has a lot of settings and accepts a lot of formats, from html to pdf. WPM: The best speed for me right now is 500 words per minute.
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ask-gallows-callibrator: levi-has-the-booty: Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex. [Class titters] Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm! [Laughter increases] Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish! [Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot] OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHOTS FIRED
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rneerkat: with great power comes a great electricity bill
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spookygoo: I was talking about why Chef Gordon Ramsay was so angry all the time, and explained that he originally wanted to be a professional soccer player but suffered a really bad knee injury and couldn’t play anymore, so he poured himself into cooking and culinary arts to help with his anger issues, but his abusive alcoholic father disapproved of his cooking and died before ever tasting any of it and I realized that Gordon Ramsay has the most anime backstory ever.
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miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon: onwardwall: thegingerbalrog: my-fandom-life: dismantlerepaired: whereismystrawberrytart: hikingnerd: timelordpillbug: follovved: amerlcanapparel: when she says she doesn’t send nudes when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia When Russia sends you nudes #what the fuck happened here
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mariowiki: codeinewarrior: say those three words and i’m yours super smash bros
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twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck: thepreciousthing: adire-adire: victorysunshine: goldfish-kisses: geek-in-a-box: martiemcfly: WHY ARENT THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS LIKE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME AS A KIDS PLAYGROUND BUT BIGGER WHY DO WE NOT HAVE THOSE theme parks. just. theme parks. but u have to pay for theme parks that’s the adult part son of a bitch ladies and gentlemen, behold the St. Louis City Museum: Playground for adults and children. They even serve alcohol. I know where we’re going guys
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twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck: thepreciousthing: adire-adire: victorysunshine: goldfish-kisses: geek-in-a-box: martiemcfly: WHY ARENT THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS LIKE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME AS A KIDS PLAYGROUND BUT BIGGER WHY DO WE NOT HAVE THOSE theme parks. just. theme parks. but u have to pay for theme parks that’s the adult part son of a bitch ladies and gentlemen, behold the St. Louis City Museum: Playground for adults and children. They even serve alcohol. I know where we’re going guys
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bitch-pudding: myspcefamous2012: the breakfast club isnt even about breakfast you could have at least said spoiler alert
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onesubsjourney: carpeumbra: kittengrin: kittengrin: carpeumbra: kittengrin: carpeumbra: Fifty Shades of Domestic Abuse 50 Shades of Damaging Stereotypes Fifty Shades of Wanna Guess How Many People Will Be Hospitalized Due To Flesh Wounds From Improper Knots After The Movie? 50 Shades of Glorified Abuse 50 Shades of Kidney Damage from Incompetent Crop Use Fifty Shades of Pathological Violence Due To Past Trauma Isn’t Kink 50 Shades of no safeword lands you in jail.
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banal-echo-gee: I finally have a phone with Android, recommend me apps Flipboard: best way to check Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and any other site you want to follow. Feedly: right now I have more than 500 sources that I keep track using this app. It works on the browser too. Podcast Addict: listen to interesting programs about almost anything (I recommend Café Brasil and Escriba Café) Pocket: save articles to read offline. WhatsApp: best messenger Amazon Kindle: best ebook manager/reader Sprint Reader: read epubs using RSVP (400 words per minute) Epubator: convert pdfs to epub Google Keep: to create and manage lists N7 player: best mp3 player Chrome: best browser. If it’s too heavy, try Habit Browser or Opera. QuickPick: best offline images viewer JustPictures!: best online images viewer Skype: voice/video messenger Chanu: 4chan viewer/downloader. Allows batch download. Dropbox: Virtual HD. Fotodanz: create gifs taking pictures Lampshade: TV Tropes viewer. SD Maid: disk cleaner smsBlocker by Optinno: get rid of spam Word Lens: translate in real time using phone camera Tubemate: download youtube videos in several formats, even mp3.
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xvelvetcrowbar: 50 Shades of Sexual Abuse and Misrepresentation of BDSM Culture
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beauxbatons: when im dead sext me through a ouija board
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ampullae: kakashi looks down at sauske “all of my friends are dead” someone coughs behind him ”kakashi what the fuck” gai says
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donutsornonuts: We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.
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leeeeverett: today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?” one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face
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jaclcfrost: "why do you like floral prints so much" because i’m not a person. secretly i’m just a mass of bees. trying to blend in with humans. unable to let go of my love of flowers
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marxvx: assdownloader: "don’t support nestle!" shouts the liberal on the computer made from parts manufactured at foxconn consumer activism is a lie, see you in hell or in communism lmao try boycotting a brand in monopoly capitalism
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Mmmm. Coffee.

theheadlesshashasheen: I salute you: Daimon of Daimons, Fragrance of the Unsleeping Gods.
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tidaltree: sorryforpartybarackin: vriska-serkitty: sorryforpartybarackin: shoutout to every girl ever for being hot as h*ck and making me hate myself did u just censor e in the word heck You’re d*rn right I did I’m trying to get into Heaven Practicing censorship on ourselfs was part of why we were thrown out in the first place. What gave you the idea that it would be the way to get back in?
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tidaltree: sorryforpartybarackin: vriska-serkitty: sorryforpartybarackin: shoutout to every girl ever for being hot as h*ck and making me hate myself did u just censor e in the word heck You’re d*rn right I did I’m trying to get into Heaven Practicing censorship on ourselfs was part of why we were thrown out in the first place. What gave you the idea that it would be the way to get back in?
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sexhaver: most ridiculous appeal to masculinity in advertising ive ever seen was when Gillette made an entire section of their website to get guys to shave their pubes and their pitch was something like “the trees look bigger without the underbrush” and a female model in a park ranger outfit poledancing on a tree. they were literally saying that buying their product would make your dick bigger
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mcdolands: Me: “dad am i adopted?” Dad:no, ur David. why woud anyone name you ‘Adopted’? even if we wanted to, ur name was alredy David when we adopted you
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eastcoastslang: im in the mood to receive a check for six hundred thousand dollars
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huluhooping: when I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on
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defilerwyrm: that one person you never really talk to but you reblog the shit outta each other
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eliteclassmeme: your boobs are real? great! your boobs are fake? thats pretty cool too. you erased the memories of your classmates and forced them into a school of mutual killing? wow thats kind of
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bombing: attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon
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daniellemertina: Don’t trust people who don’t support you as you try to grow into a more mature and self-realized person. Don’t confide in people who aren’t as interested in your triumphs as they are in your downfalls.
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bitcorn: just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet cant even name three noble truths of buddhism
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jean-luc-gohard: I was born in the wrong generation. This generation is still racist as fuck and I can’t download a pizza. Wake me up in the year 3019.
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itsmemacleod: How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
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gayan1983: Dad: “GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!” Child: *storms off* “JIM MORRISON WAS OVERRATED!” Dad: “WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS!?”
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weavemunchers: imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday, every half hour goes to your room opens the door and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves
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dickspeak: acting cool around ur crush
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thinsquids: I love seeing people walking by with little smiles on their face because something small happened that made them happy. Maybe they got a cute text, maybe they got laid, maybe they killed a man. You will never know.
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lyrangalia: carry-on-my-wayward-butt: voltisubito: Who the fuck named the Sahara Desert anyway Sahara is just the Arabic word for “deserts” You fucking named it the Desert Desert way to fucking go chai tea I’ll take “European Imperialists Who Never Bothered To Translate The Local Languages” for $200, Alex.
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badwolfinbelgravia: myfleshwounds: mitten: don’t hit ur girlfriend unless ur smacking that ass But make sure you have consent to smack dat ass ask the cutie before you touch the booty
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lumieres-home: ROFLMAO trappedinadiamond: so I’m at a gas station getting RED BULL AND THE GUY INFRONT OF ME IS TRYING TO GET CONDOMS AND HIS CARD GOT FUCKING DECLINED AND THIS LITTLE OLD WOMAN BEHIND ME WHISPEREd “he just got cock blocked by visa” I FUCKING SHAT MYSELF
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relahvant: when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it
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oreoofficial: why dont ppl do random things for me? u know. send me a message, draw me, paint me, send me $300,000
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dionthesocialist: Realistic Erotica: “Please don’t stop,” she moaned just as my fucking hand started to really cramp.
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nickelbackthatassup: no emoji in the world can replace the depth of :/
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detectivejane: knightoflime: Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who reads ancient scrolls written in a forbidden tongue and summons nightmarish beings from beyond the mortal plane.
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knightscrest: officialnasa: knightscrest: knightscrest: how do astronauts say they’re sorry? they apollo-gize!! We dont apologize. we are perfect. nasa i know of at least 2 exploded spaceships that beg to differ
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tardis-mind-palace: pir8crabs: Some people theorize that one extra factor that made the Titanic sink was added weight from loads and loads of time-travelers attempting to prevent it from sinking. #how to paradox
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fuck-n-cum: Masturbating as soon as you wake up is the best… Actually touching yourself whenever you have time is the best
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32 Things to Do Before you Turn 89

jenjay: 1. Stop reading lists of arbitrary life goals written by upper-middle-class white kids. 2.-32. Live your life judgment-free while cackling at people freaking out about those arbitrary life goals.
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plantkitten: u have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
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peachyypeachh: ronnies-corner: breadmaakesyoufat: starfreezer: Georges son calls from Hogwarts on the first day of school terrified and keeps asking if George is okay, he reassures him that everything is alright but asks why he would ask that. Georges son explains that he thought he had died because he could have sworn he had seen a ghost that looked just like him joking around with the older students STOP DIS RIGHT NOW first of all, fuck you second of all, fuck you
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ATTENTION

wordlessconversation: the-red-hurricane: IF ANYONE SEES THIS POST: do not click the link IT IS MALWARE I REPEAT, IT IS MALWARE thankfully my avast! stopped it. Others won’t be so lucky. please spread the word about this, so people won’t loose their stuff! Well shit, I’m glad I didn’t click the link when I reblogged it earlier. And I reblogged thinking it was going to help. I use Instagiffer to create gifs. All you need is a vídeo (you can even use a youtube link): Here: http://instagiffer.com/
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jibblyuniverse: derpfire: jibblyuniverse: frenums: things that will always sound sarcastic good for you thanks a lot yeah right nice to know wow way to go totally ok buddy Not if you say ‘man’ at the end ok buddy man I might not have thought that last one through
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beaky-peartree: Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point
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ladycaracas: some-peasant: ladycaracas: 1k notes = good post 10k notes = well done, you have some tumblr skill 100k notes = a work of art 1 million notes = a masterpiece, belongs in a museum 10 million notes = a legend that transcends time there is a 10 million note post that just says “egg” a legend that transcends time
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lesbolution: reblog if u remember when apple was a FRUIT, kids played OUTSIDE not on their ipads, and decomposing VICTIMS of the BUBONIC plague LITTERED the STREETS
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mammamoon: DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY YOU HAVE SUCH A STRONG URGE TO SQUEEZE THINGS BECAUSE THEY’RE CUTE there was an article about it and it said there is nothing to satisfy how you feel about the thing being so cute so the natural human urge is to kill it so it will stop being cute
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karemloo: for everyone who has a shitty dad, i’m your new dad now. i love you so much and i’m really proud of you. you’re doing so well and i couldn’t ask for a better child.
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dutchster: as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
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habituallydestructive: *laughs while actually getting feelings hurt*
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send me a colour please

Deep Red - I’m in love with you. Red - I love you. Pink - I think you’re cute. Blue - You’re amazing. Rose - You’re pretty Purple - You’re hot. Plum - I would fuck you. Violet - I would date you. Aqua - I could stay on your blog for hours. Lavender - You are my tumblr crush. Orange - I want to get to know you. Tangerine - We have a lot in common. Amber - I wish you would notice me. Cream - I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog
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babushka-nipples: *bellows from a distance* NEEEEEEERRRDDDD
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feministsupernatural: theawesomesauce93: gallopinggroundsloth: Ah, Bisexuality Day, when Freddie Mercury visits all the bisexuals who’ve been good the past year and gives them presents Ha ha, I can’t believe you still think Freddie Mercury is real. Everybody knows it’s really your parents. IT IS FREDDIE. I’VE SEEN HIM! HE COMES TO YOUR HOUSE AND LEAVES YOU OSCAR WILDE BOOKS AND MARLON BRANDO MOVIES.
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unclefather: when i’m famous i’ll remember that you unfollowed me
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pvriah: sometimes you just need to relax; to relax torelax orelax orelsax oralsex oral sex sometimes you just need oral sex
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kevinshalo: "What are you twelve" Yeah on a scale of one to ten bye
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That’s why I love trip-hop. Sad and angry songs, like myself.
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merylstreepismymom: "what does your tattoo mean?" It means I wanted it so I fucking got it
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pokemon-personalities: lets play a game called ‘i feel like i’m bothering you with everything i say so i won’t make any attempts at contact until you message me first’
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spockhetti: wo-nderland: Once u mess up liquid eyeliner there is no going back
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heckacute: I touch myself whenever I think about you. More specifically, I rub my temples because I get a headache because you’re awful.
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ridge: i hate it when people call me funny because I feel like I have to say something really funny again and I just can’t handle that pressure
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handaxe: handaxe: What’s the difference between america and yogurt? If u leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture
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petewanks: if u see me smiling in public it means im laughing at the jokes i tell myself in my head How did you find me!?
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ellis-dee: ostolero: if u are reading this I am actively converting you to discordianism you are probably already discordian sorry I don’t make the rules I was a Pope long before reading this post….quite frankly, if you are not part of the Cabal, what are you doing with your life?
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mentalalchemy: atripinsideaseparatemind: I want someone to look at me the way Jack White looks at Jimmy Page playing guitar hahahah
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rip-homegirl: let’s talk about the universe and make out
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psychoticmist: if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
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goldella: I never actually say hi to my friends, I just make creepy faces at them from a distance.
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not-an-angel: animeboobies: lnnea: top 10 must-visit destinations: my bed my bed my bed my bed my bed my bed my bed my bed my bed my bed is this meant to be a testament to how lazy you are or are you trying to seduce someone i can’t tell both.
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thelumpyconglomerate: Why do movies show “nerdy girls” as carrying a billion books, and then portray them as physically weak? If a girl can carry the harry potter series, the lotr trilogy, and all of her textbooks then she can probably lift the protagonist football star and throw him across the football field
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thrashturbate: Making someone smile and moan at the same time during sex should be a life goal for everyone.
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Thoughts:

reallifekink: Tumblr needs a teleport function. Cause everyone that’s cool is super far away.
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*thinks about responsibilities* *shrugs* *masturbates*
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fartgallery: Um, actually Godzilla is the doctor, not the monster
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theairbitesshrewdly: i learned a palindrome today and its the best & funniest thing ive ever heard here goes: No sir! Away! A papaya war is on!
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lumos5001: thetechnicolortrenchcoat: Today is Copernicus’s 541th birthday. You may remember Copernicus as the man who said “Hey, what if the Earth went around the sun?” To which the Catholic Church replied “Hey, what if we set you on fire?” #history brought to you by tumblr
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lesbianvenom: i hate when people complain about how technology is “ruining everything.” i have over 200 pictures of my dog on my phone and i can send them to my friends when they are sad. how is that ruining anything. why do you hate happiness
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pyonkotchi: pyonkotchi: why are people in anime openings always running what are they running from?
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tsarbucks: no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit
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destielsrainbowdick: morlarty: IF YOU GET STABBED DON’T FUCKING REMOVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF YOU IF YOU TAKE IT OUT YOU’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE. however if you’re trying to kill someone DON’T FUCKING LEAVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF THEM IF YOU TAKE IT OUT THEY’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE.
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moonstoners: tear my panties apart not my heart Teeth or scissors?
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dominospizzadelivery: "Hey can u check if that milk went bad?" *opens fridge* *milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette* "It’s bad alright"
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i-effed-it-all-up: no, i don’t watch that show, but i do follow its developments extensively via tumblr
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the-critical-hit: EXTRE3ME: JORNADA À E3 2014 QUASE 50 RPGS PRA FICAR DE OLHO NO MAIOR EVENTO DO ANO! Ano passado comentei por aqui o que esperava da E3 2013. Eis que, para minha surpresa, algumas coisas tornaram-se realidade — me senti a mãe Dináh —, e quem saiu “vitoriosa” do evento foi de fato a Sony através dos vários tapas na cara da Microsoft (que por sua vez vem felizmente se redimindo). Pra esse ano ainda não consegui minhas credenciais nem dinheiro para a passagem à Electronic Entertainment Expo, mas isso não quer dizer que esteja menos empolgado! Com todos os consoles da nova geração revelados, além dos antigos coexistentes, é tempo de ver o que cada empresa terá de melhor para mostrar no quesito software. Aqueles burburinhos sobre novos consoles é tudo furada, sendo o máximo que possamos ver uma revisão do que já conhecemos. Diferente de 2013 porém eu, daqui do conforto do meu escritório, tratarei neste artigo apenas os RPGs (e afins) que irão/deverão/deveriam pintar na E3 2014! É hora de se preparar, esqueça copa do mundo e prepare-se para diversão e gafes inesquecíveis! Foca no texto. Read More O GIF QUE FIZ DE DISGAEA 4
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dadreversal: gorillas don’t know any bodybuilding techniques so we have probably never seen one at full potential
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sopheos: IM SO PISSED BECAUSE I JUST REMEMBERED WHEN MILEY CYRUS WROTE HER BOOK SHE SAID THAT SHE WAS BULLIED AND LOCKED UP IN THE BATHROOM AT HER SCHOOL AND SHE HAD TO CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW IN MIDDLE SCHOOL BUT THAT WAS MY MIDDLE SCHOOL AND THERE ARE NO WINDOWS THE BATHROOMS ARENT EVEN LOCATED ON THE OUTER WALLS ITS LIKE CONCRETE CONCRETE AND MORE CONCRETE SHE LIED AND MY SIBLINGS WENT TO SCHOOL WITH HER AND SHE WAS SO POPULAR THAT THEY HATED HER GOD IM SO ANGRY
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kohwala: follow my tumblr not your dreams
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unclefather: "Thanks for calling me a bitch because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are nature. and nature is beautiful. So thanks for calling me beautiful(: "
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comin4dabooty: "Whats ur zodiac sign?"
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meanplastic: psyducked: one time my sister walked in on my fingering myself so I told her that I was checking my prostate because I was feeling sick and I was afraid I had cancer and we spent a good 15 minutes hugging each other crying
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paintdeath: confess your love for me via paypal
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meladoodle: *forgets what im talking about halfway through a sentence* *forgets what im talking about halfway through a… what was I talking about?
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part-time-stripper: fuks: camouflagegirl: dohertypeter: i still don’t understand why girls have to pay for pads and boys can get free condoms girls HAVE to have their periods and boys don’t HAVE to have sex This is the best post I have ever seen because pads dont prevent disease and unwanted children girls can also get free condoms fine then i’ll just bleed on everything you love
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supersmashthestatebros: under communism, we all share the same birthday, so birthday cake, today at the community garden, 3:00. be there or be laissez-faire.
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sinnaonthebarricade: In Shakespearean we don’t say “I love you” we say “Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice and could of men distinguish, her election hath seal’d thee for herself” which roughly translates to “I trust you completely even though every other person who meant anything to me has betrayed me” and I think that’s really beautiful.
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smaugchiefestofcalamities: feeling sad? Here is a picture of Peter Dinklage holding his baby:
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reasons why babies are not needed head to body ratio is uneven when was last time baby contribute to dinner time conversation baby unable to hunt for the clan baby is slow and usually racist
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guiseofgentlewords: how do you write poetry about someone who is poetry?
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slamnetwork: Hrm. It’s almost as though this comparison is completely fucking stupid? THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
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asmilinggoddess: asmilinggoddess: "failed" panoramas will forever be amusing to me
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vladimirnootin: *fills mouth with m&ms* Its a metaphor HAHAHA!, that’s why I love Tumblr.
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please reblog this if it is okay to anonymously confess something to you
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grey-violet: thorin-and-twerkteam: emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, they turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they always are used against you. this is important because so many people don’t know this
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Men: *compares women to objects (sex fetishes) Women: *compares men to objects (candy, chambers from a gun) There, equality.
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datkarkatass: the-stars-descend: the-stars-descend: You’re living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means? You matter this is the most inspirational pun i have ever seen
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pinkisthenewscarlet: i-spooky-like-fedex: skellagirl: parallelsea: October OCTOber it’s the 8th month I cracked the code October is the 10th month though It was originally the 8th month but then Julius fucking Caesar decided to add in July and August after himself and his nephew Augustus we should totally just stab caesar
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bananaschnapple: A hydra is a snake right? So basically Nick fury is trying to get hydra off the helicarrier right? Does that mean he’s trying to get those motherfucking snakes off his motherfucking plane?
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silversora: Everyone is having secks and I’m like ah yes a new breed of potato
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isxbelle: Before u make fun of someone’s foreign accent, take some time to think about how they speak more languages than u and how u are a failure
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genociderfosho: What is going on with hentai artists that they keep drawing nipples like
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silversora: Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead
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feministsuperwholock: DON’T SPREAD THE NAME OF THE UCSB SHOOTER THERE HAVE BEEN STUDIES DONE THAT SHOW SPREADING THE NAME OF A SHOOTER MAKES MASS SHOOTINGS MORE FREQUENT AND INSPIRES OTHER MASS SHOOTERS REDACT HIS NAME FROM TEXTPOSTS AND JUST REPLACE IT WITH [The UCSB Shooter] LET’S NOT MAKE THIS GUY FAMOUS FOR KILLING WOMEN IT’S SETTING A PRECEDENT I’M PRETTY SURE WE DON’T WANT FOLLOWED SIGNAL BOOST PLEASE That’s why newspapers and the news in general don’t post about suicides. People tend to copycat those things.
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beyonceish: today i saw a scene couple in the hallway at school and the girl literally stopped kissing him so she could scratch his face and meow into his ear and he barked back i do not pay taxes for this shit
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riddlemehiddleston: riddlemehiddleston: I’M HOME ALONE AND MY PARENTS FORGOT TO TELL ME THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE PAINTING OUR HOUSE SO I’VE BEEN REENACTING LES MIS AND I JUST VIOLENTLY THREW OPEN THE WINDOW TO YELL ‘CANNONS’ AND THE POOR GUY NEARLY FELL OFF HIS STEPLADDER DON’T YOU DARE REBLOG THIS I MIGHT GET SUED
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alamatomb: Did you know that you can drink lava? But only once
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officialunitedstates: bombing: the 1700s called……they want their clothing back. haha just kidding the first telephone was invented in 1876 a good post AND i learned something. thanks tumbrl
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youaintshitok: Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.
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greathaircut: love how kids introduce themselves like “hello im johnny im five years old i know how to read” yeah cool i didnt ask for your life story asshole
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kumagawa: why do people keep saying asexuals are aliented, monkey d. luffy is asexual and he’s got a 400,000,000 bounty. asexuals are out of control and thirst for adventure, leave them alone
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martyr-ed: castiels-feathery-butt: tyflowsion: what if ducks threw bread back at you you’d have to duck This expresses the English language pretty well
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clientsfromhell: Client: I have a problem with the website. Me: Okay, what’s wrong with it? Client: The colors are wrong. The font is wrong. The company name is wrong. We didn’t approve any of this copy. How could this have happened?! Me: Sir, you’re looking at the wrong website. Your website is located at this link. Client: Yes, that’s much better. Thanks for turning that around so quickly.
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clientsfromhell: Client: This is a rush project. Me: What would be your deadline? Client: Yesterday. Me: If you supply the Delorean, I’m game.
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derpollo-justice: aquaticwonder: Are you a piece of art because I’d like to nail you up against a wall Damn
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philliptunalunatique: a gryffindor will die for you a slytherin will kill for you a ravenclaw will figure out a solution where no one dies a hufflepuff will be sitting next to you in the after life going “could have been worse”
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ugly-girl-problems: psychotic-peace: reverendjohnnymidnite: lillylouwho: trigger-incoming: This website is like a suicide hotline but with text chat instead. I would appreciate it if you guys helped spread the word. Guys, seriously. Signal boost. I needed this the other night, and a few weeks ago I was talking with someone who needed it. This is the best freaking thing ever. Always. I am so glad I found this. I hate calling hotlines. this is perfect, everyone must know. http://ift.tt/PkJYyx
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lilsucia: When someone says they wanna go help kids in Africa Ask what country
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averagebare: i heard a kid say “but DAAAAAD” and his dad said “DID YOU JUST CALL ME BUTT-DAD? YOURE GROUNDED” I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 3 YEARS
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queen-of-love-and-beauty: Men who can’t cook, clean, or even do their own laundry are not “cute” and “in need of a woman to care for them”. They are spoiled brats so dependent on gender roles that they never bothered to learn the minimal skills to take care of themselves.
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richsex: The first time a girl ever took her underwear off in front of me I said, “Golly, it’s just like I seen in the pictures!” in a very 1920’s voice. I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea. She didn’t laugh. I didn’t laugh. That was probably one of the darkest days of my life.
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suluboo: relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead
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chrull: Paul Robertson
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aieon: It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.
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frozenteen: Have you ever realized that every book you’ve ever read is just a combination of 26 letters
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easilyhumored: but mom, yodeling is my passion
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wailorded: me: did it hurt when you fell from heaven? satan: fuck off
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gothicwoadie: instead of degrading women, maybe we should upgrade women. im talking bigger boobs. faster downloading. lasers
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tumbrlplug: *drops food and says Ctrl+Z*
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clown-dick: how to get a thigh gap put a guys head between your legs
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officialunitedstates: accioconfusion: officialunitedstates: I don’t trust the media, too many acronyms. what does cnn stand for? literally no one knows the answer cable news network could be. literally no one knows
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Criando receitas no IFTTT pra automatizar postagens DO twitter PARA tumblr. Antes era o contrário Isso vai melhorar a estética das postagens

Criando receitas no IFTTT pra automatizar postagens DO twitter PARA tumblr. Antes era o contrário Isso vai melhorar a estética das postagens — Kawen (@_kawen) May 14, 2014 from Twitter http://ift.tt/QGWE41 May 13, 2014 at 11:36PM via IFTTT
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sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants "Algumas vezes me sinto inútil, mas então lembro que ao respirar produzo carbono de dióxido para as plantas"
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ambedo n. a kind of melancholic trance in which you become completely absorbed in vivid sensory details—raindrops skittering down a window, tall trees leaning in the wind, clouds of cream swirling in your coffee—which leads to a dawning awareness of the haunting fragility of life
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hovicks: y’all make jokes about what a lame power phasing is but like. kitty could rip your heart out of your chest. or phase an object through your skull but instead she uses her power to phase a giant bullet THROUGH THE ENTIRE EARTH please don’t underestimate kitty pryde she is fucking hardcore
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shailenes: TIME: “Do you consider yourself a feminist?” Shailene Woodley: ”No because I love men, and I think the idea of ‘raise women to power, take the men away from the power’ is never going to work out because you need balance.” Sexiest woman of the Universe.
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ludicolocos: pitynotawidow: this is my new favourite gif i have never noticed before today that spidey wasn’t real still laughing about it 3 hours later THE WIND ISN’T EVEN BLOWING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION
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filitheknifeless: so i am rereading harry potter and the order of the phoenix, and i reached page 666; and the first word on that page is umbridge
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amazingmichelleman: lusilly: the only reason batman is so popular is because he has the best villains false
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biblebeauty:
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teacupsandcyanide: I remember all the Doctor Who fanfics I used to read where Rose often got badly stereotyped as a damsel in distress whom the Doctor had to swoop in and save and smooch but the way I remember Doctor Who 90% of their relationship was the Doctor just setting Rose loose on people who had done something to offend them and sitting back giggling in the corner as she shouted
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taco-bell-rey: Accidentally clicking on a porn blog
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kingkitsu: smoothierox: ifollowbadblogs: "you’re an adult now" "you need to choose a career" "you need to make your own doctor’s appointment"
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Mantra necessário: "Nem todos irão querer, aceitar ou saber como usar a energia que você cede. Fique em paz com isso e siga em frente." georgiaokief: yung-human: Not everyone is going to want, accept, or know how to receive your energy. Make peace with it and move on. truths
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ponies-n-things: disswasher: "You’re so shy, you should open up more!" jESUS H FUCK
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mrcrockers: mrcrockers: hue jackman i showed this to my sister and she slapped me
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sonicpinballparty: mcbushpig: when i was 8 i drew this comic about two girls kissing and my mom was out raged and i thought it was because my art wasn’t good enough so i kept trying to draw girls kissing and she sent me to therapy and my therapist tried explaining homosexuality to me and i didn’t even know what that had to do with my art skills
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queendread: I don’t understand the USA, all your roads are straight and all your cities look like they were planned using Excel. Everyone knows the only way to build a city is to wait until a bunch of tiny villages merge together over centuries and create a sprawling clusterfuck of winding roads that make no sense and have no street signs and are impossible to navigate unless you’ve lived there all your life.
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piesexualdean: turtwink: does medusa have pubes and if so are they snakes too
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cokeflow: tumblr has defiled my sense of humor and now I’m on this new tier of humor that no one in real life understands
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Art is not a democracy. People don’t get to vote on how it ends.

"Arte não é uma democracia. As pessoas não votam em como ela deve terminar." George R. R. Martin (via connie-awanderingsoul)
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basedona10000caloriediet: kinzilauren: maarkhoppus: caucasianandwhite: maarkhoppus: fall out boy, paramore and justin timberlake on the iTunes top 10 charts wow hello 2006 i wasnt even alive in 2006 why the fuck is a six year old on tumblr
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dextersdaughter: If I’m extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can’t handle your shit Have fun figuring out which
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queencrash: ritornerai: What if Gordon Ramsay voiced a GPS "Great job, you missed the exit you fucking disgrace."
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"Different languages talk about the world in different ways. It is crucial to look at different..."

“Different languages talk about the world in different ways. It is crucial to look at different languages. If we restrict our view to just one language - our own - we will never truly understand the distinction between sense and reference, because it is natural to think that “our” way of talking about the world is the only one, or the most natural one. It is only when we study or learn a foreign language, and realize that other people see things differently, that we become aware of how arbitrary the relationship is between words and entities or concepts.”

- How Language Works by David Crystal, page 188. (via linguaphilioist) via http://ift.tt/1ePZdde

i guess the real question is how can you not like tesla he thought women would eventually rule the world because we’re the dominant sex he liked pigeons he was a vegetarian he was a babe he was shy he hated edison he’s perfect Yup, as long as you’re ok with that time he went bonkers and tried to build a death ray. Are you serious the death ray was the best part
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kingcheddarxvii: Prank idea: hire a skywriter to write “the beatles were just ok” over London
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"There’s like a million different ways to say “I love you,” “put your seat belt on,” “watch your..."

“There’s like a million different ways to say “I love you,”
“put your seat belt on,”
“watch your step,”
“get some rest,” …you’ve just got to listen.”

- Unknown (via ohfairies) via http://ift.tt/1fBcPKc

theuppityzombie: leviathans-in-the-tardis: draconisblog: tumbledore-: The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun. At first I was all: Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. But then I was all like: GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS! person annoying you? refill their bladder
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"I learned that just beneath the surface there’s another world, and still different worlds as you dig..."

“I learned that just beneath the surface there’s another world, and still different worlds as you dig deeper. I knew it as a kid, but I couldn’t find the proof. It was just a kind of feeling. There is goodness in blue skies and flowers, but another force—a wild pain and decay—also accompanies everything.”

- David Lynch (via mirroir) via http://ift.tt/1nDupPq

wizkawreath: nnordor: wizkawreath: obama means family no it doesnt obama means nobody gets left behind
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Reblog if you are

florence-lana-marina: swan-queen-in-the-tardis: theavocadowrangler: shaxaphone: s4rcoline: I can’t believe I watched that whole thing. Smh. That’s how I know I am. where are the notes this should have more notes this should have notes THIS IS CONFUSING WHERE ARE THE NOTES
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Anarco-comunismo: beber Starbucks enquanto bloga o quanto odeia o capitalismo Anarco-capitalismo: não beber Starbucks porque é caro e você pode fazer café melhor por conta própria Anarco-niilismo: arremessar tijolos nas janelas do Starbucks pois ela tem janelas. benders-game: anarcho-communism: drinking starbucks while blogging about how much you hate capitalists. anarcho-capitalism: not drinking starbucks because its overpriced and you can make better coffee for less anarcho-nihilism: throwing bricks through the windows of starbucks because it has windows
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Photo

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claireysmith: inc’est la vie
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leoneabbacchio: videogamedad: flummoxecl: videogamedad: takingbackfundaes: videogamedad: leoneabbacchio: skeletons are shitty fucking idiots how is it a skeleton but has fleshy hands where the fuck do you even find these pictures STOP IT
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meatmodel: wanna come over and watch me blog
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joshifereverlark: ayaisamazing: It doesn’t matter if you’re pretty or plain, tall or short, or have things all over your face, because what truly matters is what’s inside you. this is actually the most meaningful and thoughtful post i have ever seen on tumblr
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